Well, I finally got my exam results. Passed both which is the good news, giving me a 2.2 degree overall. I guess I'm happy, although of course a level up would have been nice. But at the end of the day I suppose it's the degree itself that matters. Anyhow, I'm almost 99.99% certain I don't want to make professional industrial computing my life's work. Therefore I don't' suppose it's the most disasterous result on Earth from that viewpoint. I think and hope mum's reasonably happy with me, and the rest of the family seemed pleased when I phoned over this afternoon. I'm thinking I'll basically forget about it and put it behind me now, see what happens regarding the MAsters and take things from there. Business certainly holds more appeal right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not regretting doing the Computing, and sure it'll be useful and it's given me good skills and all, but that's how it is.

Ah, how time flies. Today marks six years since dad passed away. I can't believe it. So many things have changed, for better and for worse. I ask myself if he'd be pleased with what I've done so far, but I guess it's not something I'll ever know. He died when I was nearly 16, rather a transitional age, I didn't really know what I wanted to do in the future, wasn't really thinking big or incredibly long term, so I never had the chance to put my ideas to him. Oh well, one must do what one feels is right and hope for the best. I know that sounds really bland, but I'm just feeling rather weird right now. Sort of upset but not, guilty and wistful and contemplative all at the same time. Sometimes I feel the incredible urge to just throw in the towel and give up completely, but then I wonder if that's being selfish and uncaring or what. Sometimes I just feel so completely empty when I think back on the past, and then I wonder if I'm doing nearly enough to shape my future.

The N95 8GB is here to stay. I've put Talks on it for the 30-day demo, and I'll move my messages and contacts over later tonight. I like it, but at the same time I think I've already gotten bored of it, even though I've barely looked at it.

OK, I'm going now. Feeling really queezy and out of sorts, and I have this damned cough back again that'll probably hang around here for the next six months like an obstinate raincloud, so I might just have a cup of tea and go to bed. Maybe the light of dawn will bring a better frame of mind, I hope so. The alternative is not worth thinking about, and probably not beneficial to my long term health either.