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Patwa's Paradiso On The Web
Just lil' ol' Me
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24th-Jul-2007 02:42 pm - Too tired to even think
I'm just so tired I could drop. But I know if I go to bed I'll just toss and turn and just end up getting up again. It's like years back when you shut down the computer, you would get amessage saying "It's now safe to turn off your computer." and you would manually switch it off. Except nowadays things have modernised and the switch is automatic, but my automatic off switch is faulty and doesn't work. I am tired, I want to sleep but just can't. I've had one and a half hours so-called sleep in the last 28, and whereas that might not sound like much, multiply that over 3 weeks and you get the picture.

I'm also at my wits end with TalkTalk. The only modem we have that TalkTalk supports, the speedtouch 330 which is on my line won't work on mum's extension because apparently the signal isn't strong enough, even though it worked fine with Tiscali. Mum needed to use the net yesterday so I spent nearly six hours moving the modem and router back and forth trying to find a solution before I finally ended up doing a wireless network on my line and accessing the net from her computer via a Belkin WiFi card, which I needed to remove from the case before installing the drivers, then re-insert it. Who makes stupid install procedures like that anyway? Wait, don't answer that, Belkin do. And these the people that told Sen to install the drivers for his Belkin keyboard and mouse BEFORE plugging them in, when he had no other keyboard and mouse to spare. Uh, in case you've been on Mars the last few decades, most computer systems require a mouse and/or keyboard to interact with the system, including the installation of drivers!
So yes by the time I got it done I was ready to sod being calm and just scream, oh and throw a good amount of valuable hardware out of the top floor window! Obviously I didn't otherwise I wouldn't be writing this but it was getting pretty hot there towards the end.

I went to the doc today for another routine appoitment. He was happy with the codeine-free situation, and advised me to take the Amitriptyline earlier in the day to see if that helps the sleeping, which I'll try. Fingers crossed.
I went to see Dr. Miller today. I'm not sure what I was really hoping for. On the one hand I want to be rid of these tablets, or at the least have them at a reasonable level so they're not controlling me - I would rather have it the other way around. But on the other I'm not so keen to have to put myself through the preverbial wringer to get there.

In the end the doctor's proposal was that I start off taking 10mg of Amitriptyline a night for two days, then up that to 20mg for two days before settling at 30mg a night. On Monday I'm to stop the Co-Codamol completely - cold turkey as he called it, and use only Ibuprofen should I need it for the pain. I have to see him again next Wednesday to let him know how things are going. I have no idea what Monday will bring. Apparently I've used this Amitriptyline before, but I cant remember it so I have no idea how effective it is. I will most likely experience withdrawal symptoms to some degree, which scares me a little. I don't want to end up a total wreck, unable to even get out of bed because of the pain. But I would be prepared to go through with it to get out of this cycle of painkillers that I'm in. It feels like a major milestone is approaching as I've never just completely stopped taking the Co-Codamol before. It's always been there. I'm debating with myself if I should have someone lock them away so I can't get at them, but I guess it's just not knowing what's going to happen that making me say that. Oh well, I'll put one foot in front of the other as I always have and see how things go. I'll post updates here.

P.S: Later edited to correct spelling. Also, i was quite surprised to find this page indexed by Google within the hour whilst I was looking for user experiences with this course of treatment. wow!.
So I decided to knuckle down this morning and get this AdSense business sorted out. And to a point I've managed to do it quite well. I've got the ads looking the way I want them to in terms of size, I changed the style to plain links instead of the normal links and text that you get (add a bit of mystery to them) and I've got the spacing (sort of) right. At least there isn't loads of white space below them as there was before which just made things look ugly.

However I'm still having a couple of issues.
1. I can't seem to get the ads table (a 1 row, 3 cell table with the code for the ads in each cell) to show more than once on a page - it just won't work. I want the ads at the top and bottom of each page, but even if I copy what was put exactly at the top they won't show.
2. I'm still not happy about the amount of code replication that there is. For example, even though I'm using standard shtml includes (the include being a standard page with the table + ads in it, rather than the original plain JavaScript code), I still have to make 3 changes for each individual setting I want to alter. It would be good if I could have the adsense code in just one file, and then have a function that would loop through each cell in the table, up to how many cells were pre-defined, and insert the code into each cell. Then I need only change the master file if I wanted to say, try a different ad size or colour scheme. All the current include does is prevent me having to copy and paste the code in each page, but there's still that replication within the table itself which I have to do manually.
3. This is all very well for the main website, but I also want to have this auto-generation of code in the forums. Now maybe it's just me having a mental block, but nowhere in the template editor within vBulletin does it say what type of files the individual template snippets are, making it quite hard to choose the right include code to use. I'm pretty sure they're just plain PHP files with the type declarations stripped out to save room within the editor, but I'd rather be sure before I go in and start changing things rather than afterwards once it's done and still not working. Oh and the problem of the table not appearing at the bottom of the page (its second instance) is still there in the forums.

Isn't web development just peachy?

I made a request for a repeat prescription of the Co-Codamol today and was told they only had 76 out of the 200 I usually get per batch in stock, and that I should call in next week which suits me fine as I'll be back by then. But it also got me thinking. These are pretty strong tablets we're talking about here, 500mg of paracetamol and 30mg of Codeine in each. Not exactly light. And to think 200 of them just barely last me two weeks - that's over 14 per day. Things have got to the point now where I'm struggling not to take them every two hours. I'm not trying to parrot the iterative nature of software development in real life, but anyone who reads this blog or knows me will tell you that I've said a number of times in the past, that I want to get myself off of taking these pills to lead a life that is somewhat less dependent on them. And each time that desire has fallen by the wayside. I'm not sure if it's a lack of will, a lack of support and encouragement or some underlying reason, but seeing myself now and the waste paper bin full of tablet wrappers every Monday just before the rubbish guys come to collect it shocks me. Particularly when I compare the amount of tablets I take to my actual state of health which is totally disproportionate to it. And I was thinking to myself that it's now 08 June (incidentally it would have been dad's 65th birthday if he'd been alive) which means I have just under 10 weeks before I go off on holiday to Tanzania for a month. I'm using that milestone because once in Tanzania I won't have access to the co-Codamol or anything like it; they just don't get it there. Even here in Scandinavia and elsewhere in Western Europe, you can get the medication if it's an emergency. With this in mind I'd like to be back at the levels I was at two years ago by the time I leave. I don't know if that's overambitious or not, but it's something which I'm going to use to drive me forwards.

OK, I'm hungry now as I only had a biscuit for breakfast so I'm off to have some sausage rolls that were looking rather appetising when I last walked past them half an hour ago. Until later...
it's been a while, no scrap that it's been about a month since my last post. I did a lot of typing this morning so I'll keep it short and come back to this later.

Anyway, events of major noteworthyness include my visit to 'San Francisco for a week for the Web 2.0 and JavaOne conference (although not in the same place), the return from that trip which is a story in itself, finding out that I'm medically screwed with no hope for redemption anytime soon (ok, so it's not QUITE that dire!) and how could I forget the start of exams (they end on the 28th).

the middle point is probably the easiest to cover. Suffice to say I saw Dr. Miller at the Medical Centre here, basically to have yet another look at getting off the co-codamol. I told him how things seem to have gone downhill, how I no longer seem to have any sort of sleeping pattern, how I just can't seem to muster the will to get things done (even those that are really important like pay bills and get work in on time), how I'm always feeling really lathargic and how it's almost like I'm detached from the world around me, just aimlessly moving from day to day. His diagnosis (which I do hold some stock in) is that ten years of the co-Codamol (which includes 30mg of codeine) coupled with the drastic increase in the dosage by myself over the last 18 months have started to take their toll. He has this idea to ween me off the stuff, by reducing the dose by one tablet per day per week starting in June. Hopefully this will work, as I just don't think I can continue living like this through my 4th year at Uni - 3rd year was hard enough.

In other news, I've finally got onto Tesco about sorting out the damaged parts of the bed which I bought in January, and have also finally written to the Administrators of the old Savastore to get my money back for the speakers I bought and then cancelled the order for in February. Hopefully I'll get a response from both, be it positive or negative, soon.

Oh, I forgot the online banking bit. Well I did an internal transfer between accounts last week - the only problem being I did it the wrong way around. So my bank account was overdrawn. To top it off, a cheque then cleared the next day, bringing it even more into the red. Well I phoned up today to find out why it went past my limit (it's to do with their automated systems) and was also informed, far too brightly for my liking, that I face a £25 O/D charge. Joy. So just take care, online banking isn't all fluffy clouds and sweet smelling roses. And in case you're interested, i did reverse the transfer so it's all OK now, well apart from the £25 charge. that'll never be OK with me.

Well that's all from this most exciting corner of the world, I'll prob write again towards the end of exams.

Ciao.
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